On Sunday I told a friend that I hoped to receive my expected skin cancer diagnosis confirmation on my birthday, and I meant it. Something about that seemed perfect — a gift of perspective, a reminder that life is risky and impermanent, but that I’m still here. Plus the dermatologist said it was likely “the good kind” of cancer. Like good news, kinda? They say everyone will get cancer eventually, and you have the best kind! Happy Birthday!

Well, I got my birthday wish — sorta. Biopsy results came today, but they’re inconclusive; two dermatologists who reviewed them say there’s enough cause for concern to remove it. So we will. (Well, they will. I’ll just lie there and try not to pass out during the Mohs surgery.)

I find it deliciously ironic that I have spent the last few weeks fretting about my changing facial features: the deepening lines, the darkening circles, the sagging skin. So much wasted time spent picking apart a long list of inconsequential, self-absorbed Things I Wish I Could Change. The inconspicuous, flesh-colored mole on my cheek, which has been there for years, was not on that list.

And it’s the only thing that actually needs to go.

I don’t know how deep the surgeon will have to dig into my face to remove every trace of the “possible basal cell carcinoma,” but I know the gnarly-sexy scar left behind will be the exact thing I need to see every time I look in the mirror. I kind of can’t wait for that.

In the meantime, wanna help make my other birthday wishes come true? 

1. Use sunscreen every day.

2. Slather sunscreen on your kids.

3. See a dermatologist once a year. (The quick and painless annual once-over by trained eyes provides priceless peace of mind, not to mention the benefits of early detection!)

4. Be as graceful as possible about aging; so many never get the chance to develop laugh lines (which are astounding — traces of every emotional moment we’ve ever lived? I mean wow).

5. Keep in mind every step we take is one fewer step we have left, so let’s all commit to only walk (run) in the direction of our dreams. And each other.

6. The next time (and the next time, and the next time … ) we look into a mirror, let’s not frown. Let’s wink.

(Thanks for all the birthday love today. ~ Robyn)